The good news about life is that it’s all your fault. By that, I mean you can assume that everything that’s gone wrong in your life is your fault. This is really the best philosophy you can have regarding personal responsibility, because if everything’s your fault, then by default you have control over every aspect of your life, and can make the changes necessary to improve your circumstances.
Do you have a crappy job or boss? It’s your fault. You haven’t got the skills necessary to add the value necessary to earn more. This is despite the lower prices of the information necessary to get these skills from a library or online. You’re one skill away from a new job or position that will make your life so much better. Quit wasting your time with video games and social media and get more skills.
You’re broke? Your fault. You spend more than you make on stupid trinkets that add no value to your life. You also don’t make enough money, so please see the preceding paragraph for the solution.
Have a terrible marriage? Your fault. You’re most likely overweight, rude, and uninspiring. Why would any woman want to be with you? Get in the gym, clean up your attitude and pursue excellence. Watch your marriage change.
Stop telling yourself you’re fat because of your thyroid. You eat too much and don’t work out. It’s that simple.
Quit deceiving yourself that you aren’t in a relationship because there are no good women out there. You’re an out of shape loser who can’t support a family. Own it and get better.
Don’t blame your lack of a good career on your company not providing training. You don’t have any lucrative skills, so you don’t add value. Get out there and get better.
The vast majority of men have an excuse for everything wrong in their life. There’s always someone to blame, something that prevents their success, and some force holding them back. Don’t let this be you.
Now let’s get an obvious flaw in my argument out there. What about circumstances obviously beyond your control? What about a wife who gets cancer? What about the death of a child? How about a parent who has Alzheimer’s.
There’s been thousands of sermons by excellent pastors on the topic of why God allows tragedies like these. I’ve got nothing to add, and would encourage you to seek some of these out to get the answers you’re looking for. I’m not privy to God’s plans, nor do I deserve to be.
I do want to put a couple of points forward, however. First of all, the Bible makes clear that the reason for all these tragic events is a broken world caused by human sin. You and I contribute heavily to that sin problem, and we both should take responsibility and act more virtuously as a result.
Second, I think a lot of times we pretend that something very well within our control is an Act of God. For instance, how many overweight men seem bewildered by their health problems? How many men ascribe credit card debt to “emergencies” rather than overspending. How many lazy employees who are in the bottom 10% of the workforce attribute layoffs to corporate greed.
I’m not saying that there’s absolutely no situation or circumstance beyond your control. The point is that you need to be very careful in determining what is and is not within your control, and operate under the assumption that it’s all your fault.
You also need to be very mindful of your response in dealing with circumstances beyond your immediate control (whether or not you were at fault). You may have lost control of a circumstance, but that doesn’t mean you don’t have immediate control over what you do next.
Lost your job? Immediately reach out to contacts, send out resumes and pick up a night and weekend gig to temporarily bring in extra cash. Don’t sit on your rear end blaming your old company. That ship has sailed, and it’s time to swim to shore.
You’re sick? Time to adopt a healthy, organic diet and cut any sort of processed food out. Also, time to work out to the best of your ability, even if that’s only a walk around the block.
You’re in debt because you spend more than you make. End of story. Cut spending, work extra jobs at night and on weekends, and pay off your debt.
Be very careful about declaring ANY part of your life beyond your control. Yes, as a Christian I believe God is ultimately in control, but I also know that God operates on a spectrum that transcends time and human understanding. Meanwhile, it’s up to me to use the wisdom he’s given to live up to my potential. I owe that to God, myself, and my family.