Ward Wilsey's Site

How to Choose a College Without Ruining Your Life

OK, it’s clear that there is some connection between higher education and success. However, it’s also true (despite what anyone says) that going to college can ruin your life. There are millions of Americans who paid WAY too much for worthless degrees, and to make matters worse, carry around student loan debt that they will never be able to pay off. Colleges, the media, parents, etc. seem to point young people to college as the holy grail of future career success, which is patently untrue. It CAN aid you significantly in earning a higher income. It can also become an albatross around your neck, in the form of student loan debt.

Here are some precepts about college and higher educational degrees. First of all, a degree can help you in your career, no doubt. However, you must realize that the combination of (a) worthless degrees; (b) no-name schools; and (c) student loan debt is a crippling combination that will drive you under if you follow the lies that society tells you, namely “any degree is a good degree”.

I’m more successful financially because I went to college (B.A. in Economics at U.C. San Diego) and law school (University of San Diego). There’s no doubt that I immediately had more credibility in the workforce as a result of those degrees, and was able to earn a higher salary as a result. This is the benefit of a college education. A degree, from a good school, can open doors.

However, it’s also true that (with rare exceptions) I didn’t learn anything of value that I couldn’t have learned by reading a book or (nowadays) watching an online video. There’s nothing magical about the actual information and learning material in most classes in college. I can count on the fingers of one hand the number of classes/professors who were impactful enough where one could honestly say that they were really superior to anything one could get from outside sources. The reality is, you’re reading some textbook, trying to learn in class what’s important to the professor, and regurgitating that on a test. Not rocket science. It’s absolutely the case that the educational material in college should be available for a much lower price, particularly with modern online technology.

So why go to college and beyond? What’s a degree worth? First of all, a college degree forces the student to gather an amalgamation of basic subject matter to prove to outside employers that the student has the basic skills (writing, arithmetic, science, etc.) to function in the work world. School also proves to employers that you can learn information (studying) and apply it in context (tests). Absent the degree, you will have to prove these skills, generally at a lower level of employment, than you would otherwise. That’s why college students are often hired in positions that non-college students have to work themselves up to.

Therefore, a college degree provides useful information to an employer that you are capable of assimilating information and using that information to provide the employer with value. It doesn’t prove that you’ll be a good employee, but it does provide an indication. Therefore, and this is important, the ONLY value you should be focused on in selecting a college and navigating your college experience is the value of the actual degree you will earn. Yes, you should hopefully get a few classes you enjoy, but remember that if learning for the sake of enjoyment, personal development, etc. is the goal, you should look to cheaper sources. They are definitely out there.

The question you should be asking yourself, in order to get your money’s worth out of college is “How effective will this degree be in getting employers to hire me”. However, this is only the case if you graduate (a) with a worthwhile degree and (b) from a school that proves your value to employers. Let’s look at these two factors.

The degree you graduate must be either a STEM subject or professional degree (i.e. accounting, business, nursing, etc.) that will indicate to an employer that you’ve obtained the requisite skills necessary for work. Engineering, for instance, shows that you understand math, physics, and a host of other subjects that indicate you will be able to think critically. On the other hand, if you graduate with a degree in Political Science, Communications, English, Philosophy, etc., you will not have proven the ability to think critically. Those subjects are “soft”, and while taking some classes in them (especially English Grammar) would be a good idea as part of a well-rounded education, they don’t indicate that you put much effort into your degree. Worse, is anything that has the word “studies” or “science” at the end of the degree name. If you have to remind the reader of the resume that you were studying or that something is a “science”, it’s because there’s not too much value to the course of study. That’s not a political comment, simply an observation that millions of college students are graduating from universities shepherding them into worthless degrees (with associated student loan debt) that will subject these students to a lifetime of hardship. Often this comes along with silly opinions and worldviews drilled into the students’ brains by professors. Worse, federal law stipulates that student loan debt is nondischargeable in bankruptcy, leaving the student no way out for bad decisions made in early adulthood. The school, of course, is off the hook for peddling worthless degrees, thus having absolutely no skin in the game for shoddy degrees. No wonder they reinforce the lie that any degree is a good degree. What do they care if you graduate with a worthless degree?

On to the second factor, the school you graduate from. Let’s be honest, if you graduate from Harvard with a degree in underwater basket weaving, you still graduated from Harvard, and that means something to any employer. The overall reputation of a university comes from two factors. The first is the academic reputation of the college. The second (and most overlooked) is the name recognition of the college. By name recognition, I’m going to refer to both general public name recognition and alumni involvement (don’t ever overlook this second factor). There are many schools that are extremely well known and respected by the general public regardless of academics. This is generally (for better or worse) due to sports, particularly football. Everyone knows Harvard is a great school from which to graduate. Their academic reputation pours over into great alumni and public support as well. However, not everyone makes the connection that the University of Alabama punches high above it’s academic weight compared to similarly ranked schools because of the alumni network and name recognition. This, of course, is due to their football team.

This is an unpopular reality, but one that you should consider. There’s a ton of alumni (and non-alumni) who will give special consideration to University of Alabama graduates because of the school’s reputation as a football powerhouse. This school, and similar colleges with great name brand recognition, are far better to graduate from than many schools with superior academics. It’s common for employers to give preference to alumni from the same school as the CEO, hiring manager, etc.

The better the combination of academics and alumni support, the better the school. The University of Texas, for instance, is the ultimate combination of the two. Especially if one lives in Texas, this school may be preferable to graduate from even when compared to an Ivy League school. As a corollary point, there are many schools that are great academically, but have such low name recognition that it doesn’t matter. When I selected a school for my LLM in Taxation following law school, I chose Washington University in St. Louis over Alabama and SMU strictly because of the ranking of the program. However, outside of St. Louis, no one knows that ”Wash U” even exists. Either of the other two would have been better in the long run.

Also, consider community college. Absent getting into a top-tier university (Top 100 in U.S. News and World Report) or a school with a good alumni network (generally a good football school), you should not be paying to attend all 4 years at a school. If you don’t get into one of those schools, you should attend a 2-year community college, as these are generally 1/10th the price. You’ll find that you can generally transfer into a top-tier school upon getting an associates degree as long as you have decent grades. In addition, many community colleges are associated (at least informally) with major universities, and will allow for a quasi-college-like experience, complete with dorm-like complexes in college towns. This is a much better way of doing things than attending a four-year college right off the bat, and paying for a no-name degree. Many students actually get into a better school post community college than immediately following high school after raising their grades during those two years.

Now onto debt. If your family can afford to send you to any college for cash, then cost is irrelevant. If this is not the case, then cost is an extremely important factor because you must at all costs avoid student loan debt. Let me state this another way to be clear. Under no circumstances should you be incurring student loan debt to go to college. No way. You will be crippled financially for years (if not the rest of your life) if you make this mistake. There is no school, not even Harvard or Yale, where student loan debt is worth it.

Student loan debt is usually completely avoidable. Scholarships and grants are numerous, and there for the taking. In addition, public schools can be had for a much cheaper price than private schools. You should also always work throughout college, even attending night school. Not only will this help you pay the bills, but it will also prepare you, skill and attitude-wise, for working following school. People who argue that you shouldn’t work so you can have the “student-life experience” are referring to the period of wasting your time playing beer pong, there’s no long term benefit. Do not incur debt to attend undergraduate university. Be VERY careful about incurring debt to attend graduate school. Medical school? Possibly, if you’ve identified a practice area that will help pay the debt back quickly, like over a 3-5 year period. Other than that? Work and attend night school.

Choice of school and cost of school are extremely important choices that can cripple you if you’re not careful. Make sure you’re pursuing a worthwhile degree, in a STEM or professional subject. Remember, choose a school with a good academic and overall reputation. Don’t just settle for the one rated the highest in some magazine. Oftentimes your state school will be preferable in the long run to more expensive private schools. Always consider the community college route, as you may ultimately get into a better school (for less money). Never, ever, go into debt for a four-year college or most graduate degrees. The return is never there. It’s impossible to overstate how important school choice is for young men. Mistakes here ruin so many lives. There’s no one coming to cancel your student loan debt, and furthermore, no colleges care if you ever pay back your loans. Always make sure you take your education seriously, as it can make or break your life.

Career Advice for Young Men

I just had to give a pep-talk to a young man at our office who was put on a 30-day action plan by his manager for poor performance. One thing I value about our company is total honesty and transparency. We’ve done this young man a great service early in his career, and I hope he turns things around.

I like to speak to young men about the transition from high school and college into a career. Our education system does a terrible job, and young men without significant work experience in high school and college are at a serious disadvantage. My perspective when I speak to young men is to give them the same advice I’d give my kids, and I’d like to repeat that here.

Here’s what young men need to do to be successful in their careers.

Be Honest

Honesty is the highest virtue to which a man can aspire, in my opinion. You need to consistently demand honesty of yourself. Don’t ever lie, it’s never worth it. A man who won’t accept lying as a solution will develop better solutions to problems and become immediately more valuable. Trust is everything, don’t lose it by lying.

Know Yourself and Where You’re Going

One of the biggest mistakes young men make is chasing money in a career for which they are ill-suited. Don’t make this mistake. Know your personality, likes, and abilities, and choose your profession to suit those traits. You can make money doing anything, there’s always a way. If you don’t like people, don’t be a salesperson. If you hate spreadsheets, don’t go into finance. If you hate conflict, don’t become an attorney. The amount of people who hate their job is incredibly high, and it’s generally because they put no thought into having a career path that suits them. Again, you can make good money doing just about anything, make sure it suits you.

Get Serious

Are you waking up at 8 am, eating Fruit Loops, cruising into work at 9:15 or so, leaving at 4:45 if you can get away with it, and playing video games all night? If so, you’re not serious about life, and you can’t expect to have a good career. So many people start off their adult life this way and wonder why they’re broke, fat, and unhappy when they reach 40. Get serious!

Get up early (5 am minimum), work out every day, eat healthy, and put in 10 hours of work per weekday minimum. When you get home, read, do something active, and get ready for the next day. Get serious.

Yes, leisure is fine, but realize that the discipline you demand of yourself will ensure more freedom than you have now. If you develop skills, advance in your career, and become valuable, you’ll still have plenty of downtime, but will have the resources for more virtuous pursuits.

Life is a competition, whether you realize it or not. You’re competing with others for scarce resources, and you’ll fall behind if you’re not serious. Don’t wake up when you’re 40, 50, 60, and wish you’d taken things more seriously in your 20’s. Most people make that mistake.

Add Value

Ask yourself every day how you can help your employer serve customers better and make more money during this workday. That’s the value. How can you add value to your job? Ask yourself that question every single day.

Do you walk into your job every day and not care if your employer is successful? Many people do, and it holds them back. You need to hold yourself accountable every day for serving customers to the best of your ability, regardless of your role, and helping your employer earn more. If you can’t adopt that attitude, you’re bound to fail, because you don’t care about adding value.

Develop Yourself and Your Work Ethic

How are you getting better today? This comes in many facets, mental, physical, skill set, attitude, etc. What are you doing today to improve on yesterday’s version of you? Are you improving your mind by reading books? Are you taking classes and watching online videos to improve your skills? Are you going to the gym and eating right everyday to improve your physical appearance and presence (which really matters, no matter what society says)? If not, you’re falling behind.

One of the things to note about work ethic is that it must be developed daily, and can be lost if you lose focus. Just like weightlifting, you should look to get a little better at your work every day. This means a little more focused, a little more knowledgeable, a little more valuable. This won’t happen overnight, but small incremental improvements will have huge long term effects on your value and earning capacity.

Distraction is your Enemy

Focus is a key factor in becoming more valuable at work. Distraction is your enemy, and the biggest distraction you have right now is your phone and social media. My recommendation is that you get off social media. There’s no value living in a virtual world, and you’ll have much great success in the real world by stepping out of the silly virtual existence that is social media.

At the very least, if you’re distracted at work, take steps to reduce your distraction levels. This could mean leaving your phone at home or at least in your car. It could mean exchanging your phone for a flip phone, which will automatically limit your usage. Does that sound silly? Will people think you’re crazy? Who cares, you’ll be more productive and make more out of yourself. Don’t fall victim to distractions, especially the virtual kind.

Do the Simple Things Right

Our HR Director has a list of 10 items on her dry erase board that are simple things that don’t take any talent to accomplish but will make you an extremely valuable employee. What’s interesting is that she’s commented that some employees have claimed to be “offended” by the list. That’s a sad commentary on the state of employees, particularly younger employees.

I want to repeat the list because I think it’s just perfect.

10 Things That Take Zero Talent, but Lead to Success

Be on time.
Work ethic – “I can”
Effort – “Try”
Body Language
Energy
Attitude
Passion
Being coachable
Doing extra
Being prepared

There’s the list. Nothing fancy, nothing crazy. Make sure you’re doing everything on that list.

Take Pride in Your Work

Your work is a reflection of you as a person. If you don’t care about your work product, you’ll be less of a man, to yourself, and eventually to your wife and children. Men are put on the world to work (in part) and there’s something cosmic about it. Take your work seriously and have pride in the product you put out.

If you don’t have pride in your work right now, you’re probably in the wrong career. Again, know yourself and where you’re going. If you can’t take pride in your current vocation, find one where you can.

Take the Ball and Run With It

One of the best traits you can develop is to be a person who can drive results in a business without having to be given every step of the process. Too many men are “tell-me-what-to-do-guys”. They wait around for someone to tell them what to do during their workday. They don’t figure out problems in their company, and then figure out solutions, on their own. This is a mistake.

When you’re given any task, make sure you take a step back and try to figure out what your boss is really looking for. You should learn more and more about your business, so you can add more and more value to your work product. Find unique insights to provide your boss that can help him drive results. You won’t provide much value here at first, but keep at it. Make sure you’re trying to drive results, and you’ll drive more and more over time.

It’s been really interesting to see the development of some of our younger workers in the office. At first, their insights were very basic and not very valuable. But over time, they’ve learned more about the business, and have been providing me with better and better insights.

As a boss, I try to encourage our employees to point out things, give insights, add value, wherever they can. If you have a boss who always shoots down your ideas, it’s probably time to look elsewhere.

Train Yourself

A lot of people complain about the training they receive at their job. Their complaint is that their employer doesn’t provide enough training. This is a farce, and shows a terrible attitude that holds a lot of people back. Yes, there is some job training at every good company, but it is going to be company-specific. It’s your job to get yourself trained about how to be a better employee who adds value. That’s an important distinction.

The training a company offers, by and large, is going to be specific operational training to that company. Some companies, including ours, try to go beyond this and offer developmental training, such as management training, but even that by its nature is going to be tailored to company operations.

It’s your responsibility to seek out further education on how to be successful, add value, and progress in your career. Don’t rely solely on your company for training, because your personal development is crucial. The good news is that it’s also very cheap. You can get a ton of great books on subjects like goal setting, time management, business theory, etc. A reader is always developing into something greater than the present, and it’s crucial you develop this habit to always be reading something.

You should particularly focus your self-training efforts on the three pillars of business success, management, finance, and sales. These three skill sets are what you’ll need to develop in order to progress further in your career.

Be Direct

One of the biggest flaws in any company, and this exists to various degrees, is a lack of communication due to ambiguity. People, for a variety of reasons, are not as direct and blunt as they could be. As a result, information is not passed in a truthful manner, and cannot be used to advance the common goals of the organization.

Here’s a goal you should work to achieve. Be brutally honest, while developing a compassionate approach to delivering that honesty. If you’re dealing with a flaw in the business, you must be courageous enough to identify the flaw and communicate it to company leaders in a way that they’ll receive the news positively. This takes a bit of sales talent because you must communicate your insight in a way that leadership will see the value of moving forward with your ideas. I personally love it when people come to me with problems in our business they’ve identified. I do push them to think through their analysis and I try to communicate factors in decision making that might not be on their radar to see how that changes their thinking. If you’re in a company where leadership does not value your input, it’s probably (a) because you need to develop better input (always assume you’re not performing well enough before blaming others) or (b) a bad company and time to move on.

If you’re managing someone, you must complement their strengths, and be very direct about their shortcomings. You must also be very direct about your goals as a manager, what you’re trying to accomplish, and what must be done to be considered a success. Be very blunt and direct, and leave no room for confusion. The worst thing you can do as a leader is to allow a report to continue with unsuccessful behavior in a way that will hold them back. You have a moral responsibility to those left in your charge. Don’t let them fail.

It’s a little trickier when you’re dealing with someone you don’t have authority over. You still need to be direct, but here’s where sales skills become important. You need something done, but you must communicate that in a way where you get the other person to see the value of your input. This means you must think about what you’re asking from their perspective. Be sensitive to the fact that you’re interrupting their day and taking up their time. By the same token, make sure you’re able to communicate the urgency of what you’re suggesting. It’s important to stress that you must develop the skill of adding value in order to be taken seriously. If you’re someone who has a reputation for insights that add value within the organization, you’ll have a much easier time leading others to help implement your guidance, even without any direct authority. If you have a reputation for foolishness, no one will help you implement your ideas. Again, always assume you suck and make sure your insight into your business gets better and better. This is why self-training (see above) is so vitally important. Be one of the people everyone listens to because you add value.

One of the big mistakes men make when delivering criticism is a harsh tone. No one wants to hear that they suck. But they need to hear it nonetheless. Be direct, but be compassionate as well. If you’re harsh, people may know you’re right, but they’ll work to thwart you nonetheless. You must be understanding of the shortcomings of others because you have a ton yourself. Jesus once said something to the effect of “before you point out the speck in someone else’s eye, pull the log out on your own”. Wise advice that goes far beyond carpentry situations.

Be Someone I Can Count On

If you want to develop and progress within a company, there’s no better insight I can give you than to be someone your manager can count on. When given a task, be the one who sees it through to the end with a minimum of instruction and input from your manager.

This means that you’ve got to figure things out and be able to work on your own, with a minimum of instruction. If you think you’re right, be confident, and present your work as right. Don’t ask for a review at every single stage of a project.

Also make sure that when things go wrong, you’re there to fix it, and are willing to work late to get things right for tomorrow. I need to know that in those times where there’s a major issue, you’re going to help get things fixed.

There’s a balance here. I’m a firm believer that human work and life suffers when work takes up more than 50 hours a week. Maybe some humans can work 60 hours a week, but that’s pushing it. Make sure you’re not in a job where you routinely have to work late every single day, that’s just a poorly run business.

Watch Who You Hang Around

Every business has A-players, meaning that the top 10% of the workforce that really makes the business run. Make sure you try to hang around these types of people, both at work and in your personal life. You’ll find that your work ethic, morality, and every facet of your personality is directly shaped by those with whom you surround yourself.

Choose your associations very carefully. If you’re constantly hanging around lazy, complainers at work, you’ll drift into becoming a lazy complainer. It’s an easy slippery slope to slide down, so guard yourself carefully. It’s better to stick to yourself than hang around losers.

Assume It’s Your Fault

A final point, and perhaps the most important (although I feel that way about the other various points at times) is to assume everything is your fault. When you assume everything is your fault, it gives you the power to take control of your life. This is true both for work and personal life.

Assuming problems are your fault forces you to focus on how to solve those problems rather than just let the world happen to you. That phrase “let the world happen to you” describes 80% of people, and is responsible for their lack of success. They muddle through life with no direction, no goals, and no aim. It’s always someone else’s fault, and problems are someone else’s responsibility. Don’t let that be you. Take more responsibility, and assume everything is your fault.

A good indicator of adopting the trait (of assuming everything is your fault) is that you will no longer complain. If everything is your fault, why would you complain about yourself? People who complain about their lives are letting someone else control their fate. You need to avoid this.

This is not an invitation to avoid conflict. There’s a big difference between complaining and honest feedback to someone who’s reducing the quality of your life. Open, honest communication, with bosses, spouses, neighbors, etc. is the key to effectiveness and is just a good practice in general. Don’t use this philosophy as an excuse to be passive and pretend you’re just taking on extra responsibility. You cannot be responsible for the misbehavior of others, so don’t try.

Workout for 9/8/2021

Warmup

Foam Rolls – back, IT, Hamstrings

Rollover V Sits

Lunge Circles

Frog Stretch

Dirty Dogs

Pushups

Air Squat Hamstrings

Goblet Complex

5 Goblet Squats

3 Prone Presses Each Arm

Kettlebell Complex

Presses

5-4-3-2-1

3 Sets

Front Squats

5×5-8

Swing Complex

20 Swings with 5 5 second pushups x 5

Your Education is Your Responsibility

We have a serious disconnect in America concerning what it means to be “educated”. Most people think “college” when they think educated, and therefore millions of college students trudge along, looking to earn a degree that may or may not have earning potential, amassing a ton of student loans along the way.

We think of this college degree as a golden ticket to a life of purpose, meaning, and wealth. I think most people would not consider a person “educated” unless they graduated from the right school. I assume people would think I’m moderately educated because (over 20 years ago) I graduated from a “top-tier” school, according to the U.S. News and World Report. As such, parents push their kids to meet the arbitrary standards set by teachers at public schools, whether or not their kid is interested in that particular subject.

The need to get into the “right” school pushes parents to demand excellence in their kids in the pursuit of “A’s”. In a certain way, this is awesome, as every parent should demand excellence in their kids, and every man should strive for excellence in his life. On the other hand, I think if we’re honest the excellence we’re striving for is not learning that is aimed at (a) generating career success; (b) making one a better citizen; (c) developing spiritual awareness or questions; or (d) acquiring useful knowledge. Instead, modern education demands that students learn facts (and frankly harmful propaganda) that are designed to push them into an educational mill with the idea of getting spit out with the vaunted “degree”, whether or not that degree ends up serving any purpose in their life.

However, one must also admit that our current education is not all downside. We often make the mistake of saying that we never use anything we learned in school in our daily lives. That’s not true at all. I can point to several things I’ve learned in school that still apply today in my personal life and my career as a CFO. For instance, algebra word problems still come up for me all the time as I try to solve financial questions. Frankly, much of my problem-solving skills in general end up being derivative from math problem-solving at all levels. My ability to quickly learn new concepts, laws, regulations, policies, etc. and apply them to our current business are all skills I learned in science, where I had to learn new terms, rules, etc. in biology, chemistry, and physics to apply to a set of test problems. Oddly, I can point to a Hemingway and F. Scott Fitzgerald class in college taught by a professor whose name I’ve long since forgotten, as instructive on how to analyze the words on an author’s page in order to help develop my own philosophy on life (rather than adopt the author’s philosophy as my own).

But let’s admit it. There’s a good deal wrong with our education system, especially as it applies to young men. I really don’t think it prepares them to be good husbands, fathers, and citizens. It certainly doesn’t prepare them to be good Christians, even at most Christian schools. I went to a Catholic law school without any discussion regarding the application of the 10 Commandments, the foundational legal text of Western Civilization. However, I think the problem with education ultimately begins (as most problems do) with us as men. We see the diploma itself as the end goal, rather than the pursuit of useful knowledge. We also view someone with that diploma as educated, rather than demand that person actually has accumulated wisdom.

Look, school is important, and you should learn something along the way. But the vast majority of even college-educated people quit learning the moment they graduate. It’s shocking to read studies on how little Americans read. I saw a Pew Research study that the median (typical) American reads 4 books per year. That’s not going to get it done! Think about how much time that typical American probably spends on TV and social media. No wonder most Americans are so broke, lazy, and immoral.

Let’s try to arrive at a better definition of education. Education is a lifelong habit of the accumulation of wisdom, with the aim of becoming a better citizen. It goes beyond college. Sure, some of that wisdom should help you with your career. It’s extremely important to learn math, science, english, etc. in order to function properly at a job. But it’s just as important that it helps you become a better Christian, husband, father, friend, and member of your community. It’s just as important to your status as a man to learn about emergency tire changes as it is to learn about STEM subjects.

The biggest key to becoming educated is getting into the habit of reading daily. That learning must be lifelong, rather than ending upon the receipt of some sort of a degree. You should be getting wiser each passing day, even after college is over. How do you go about that? First, you must strive to be a lifelong reader. Almost every successful person I’ve ever met is a voracious reader, and they focus on useful information, rather than smut.

Most Americans are avid readers, but the reality is that they read the wrong stuff. They spend their time scrolling useless dribble on the latest social media platform. Back when I was a kid (in the dark ages before social media), everyone would read the latest teen magazines, which were just as much useless crap as social media posts. An important concept is to watch what goes into your mind, as it will find its way into your thoughts and therefore your actions. Therefore, you must have a system for determining how you pick your reading material. You need to focus on acquiring useful information, not useless stuff.

The first measure of value in choosing your reading material is the amount of effort it took for the author to put it together. At a minimum, you should focus your reading efforts on books rather than social media posts, blog posts, magazine and newspaper articles, etc. An author who’s willing to take the time, effort, and expense to write, proof, and publish a book likely has something to say. While there’s a lot of crap books out there, a book is at least evidence that there’s something of value there to put into your mind. Social media posts, for instance, take basically no time to write, require no reflection, and may not even be something the author is ultimately proud of producing. Witness the mass of people who regret “tweets” they’ve made in the past. Don’t participate or spend your time reading that stuff.

Instead, focus on books, as you know there’s been some serious effort there by the author. Also, realize that it’s a lot easier to tell whether a book is good or not after 10 years of it being in print. That’s because you can figure out whether it’s remained popular after all that time, or faded away. There are some incredibly popular books that are deemed revolutionary in the short run, only to peter out over time. Then there are classics that hold their value over long periods of time. OK, so where do you start? After all, it’s obviously important that you choose your reading material wisely.

I think it’s crucial to understand the morality advice of Jesus (start with the Beatitudes) as a framework for all other learning subsequent. We tend to underestimate how revolutionary Jesus’ thought process was, and the impact it’s had since being written. This advice holds even if you’re not currently a believing, practicing Christian. The information is that important, make sure you read it. The Bible is a framework for understanding how the world works and your proper response. In the Book of Proverbs, King Solomon (the wisest person to that point) tells us “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge, Proverbs 1:7.” If you don’t start with the appropriate understanding of how the world works, which can only be learned through reviewing the Bible, you’re going to have a tough time developing wisdom no matter how much knowledge you acquire. That’s why you see some remarkably smart people saying foolish things, why postmodern thought has taken a hold of society, and why we have silly arguments about things like whether there’s more than 2 genders.

Make sure you set the proper framework of learning by devoting a good portion of your learning to a review of the Bible. It’s best to set aside some time each morning for this study, it’s that important. Don’t just read the Bible, but also treatises on the various books of the Bible by a variety of well researched pastors and authors. Don’t overlook this step, but make sure you spend a great deal of time getting versed in the good book. After all, BIBLE stands for Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth. I’ve found a ton of benefit reading analysis of the Bible by authors like N.T. Wright, R.C. Sproul, C.S. Lewis, R.K. Chesterton, and Charles Swindoll.

But as robust as the Bible is, you can’t rely on it alone. What else should you be reading? Books in your career area are a great start. As a CFO, I’m constantly reading books about business, M&A, accounting, and law. I’m also reading peripheral books about computers, robotics, marketing, etc. trying to gain an edge that can help me bring value to our company. I read magazine and news articles as well, to stay current, but I always take those with a grain of salt due to the principle of how hard it was for the author to produce those articles. They’re usually spit out quickly and designed to grab attention rather than convey useful information.

But it’s important to go beyond work with your reading. Biographies and history books are really important as well. I’ve always got a lot out of biographies of great men like George Washington, Winston Churchill, Theodore Roosevelt, etc. as it’s a good idea to learn about the habits and thought processes of great men in the past. Strategies employed, and how decisions were made in historical contexts is always good information to have that will be applicable in your own life. It’s important to read a lot about important historical events like wars, economic and business events, and nation formations and falls. For some reason, when it applies to business history, I’ve always found autobiographies of great businessmen to be very useful, particularly in the period of the 2nd half of the 20th century.

There’s a ton of other useful book subjects beyond business and history. Philosophy is another important subject. Classics like Plato and Aristotle are great but don’t neglect news stuff as well. It’s important to understand different frameworks of “how” to think. Scientific books are very interesting. Self-help books are important, but really watch it here, there’s a lot of charlatans out there. I like the classics, Zig Ziglar, Tony Robbins, and anything by Jim Rohn (look for the laters classroom videos on YouTube). Fitness, health, and diet books are important for learning about how to properly take care of your body. Even fiction can be great, as it’s an excellent way for expanding your creative side. As you can see, there are several genres and an endless array of subjects for a man to engage in. Make sure you get into the habit of constantly devouring books, at least 1-2 per month at a minimum.

I’m also a fan of reading a lot of fiction, as this helps expand one’s imagination and develop a more thorough vocabulary. One of the benefits of reading a lot is that you’ll become a better writer as well, which is important for communicating your thoughts, particularly in email. Your reputation as wise, smart, educated, etc. will be determined by how you interact with people in spoken and written words. Make sure you’re becoming ever more clear and concise in your manner of speech. I think often reading fiction is the best way to develop better oral and written speech patterns. But with all reading, make sure you’re taking note of interesting phrases and word combinations, and incorporate those into your own use.

You should also look to invest in your profession by taking seminars and workshops in your area of expertise. These events will usually provide information in a high-energy setting while allowing you also to network in your line of work. You need to do some digging here to make sure you’re attending high-quality events, but these can be really good for your development.

Furthermore, workshops for life outside of work in marriage, Christian faith, self-defense, health, etc. are all worthwhile pursuits that can make you a better overall man. It is worth investing some time and money in subjects that will enhance your life and make you a better man, husband, father, and citizen. You’ll often find these offered for a very low cost at your local church. For instance, the Dave Ramsey financial classes have helped millions of people get out of debt and become financially independent and responsible. Most churches offer a number of other such classes as well, which will put you into contact with others who are looking to improve themselves.

There’s also now a lot of virtual options for learning. You can take classes from all around the world on an infinite number of topics from the convenience of your own home. I’m always a little skeptical of virtual anything, as I feel in-person interaction is always best, but these virtual class options are great for learning specific subjects. For instance, the online class company Coursera offers college classes on a variety of subjects for a remarkably low price. Make sure you check out all the educational options available to you.

It’s imperative that you think beyond college in terms of becoming “educated”. Yes, college is an important consideration, but it’s frankly not even a requirement for being educated. Furthermore, one’s education certainly does not stop once one receives a diploma. Lifelong learning is crucial to one’s development as a man. Turn off the TV, put down the phone, and pick up a book. Make sure you’re reading the right books, listening to the right books, and filling your mind with positive information designed to make you a wiser man. It’ll certainly help you in your career but will improve your value as a husband, father, and citizen.

Kettlebell Workout #5

Warmup

20 jumping jacks

10 air squats

10 pushups

Hip flexor Stretch (30 seconds per side)

5 Rollover to V stretches

5 Warrior 3’s each leg

5 Squat Stretches

10 Bulgarian Goat Bag Swings

Goblet Complex x 3

5 Goblet Squats

3-8 presses each arm

Workout (stolen from Dan John)

Swing 20 reps	Swing 20 reps	Swing 20 reps
One goblet squat	One TGU each hand	5 5 Sec Pushups
Swing 20 reps	Swing 20 reps	Swing 20 reps
Two goblet squats	One TGU each hand	5 5 Sec Pushups
Swing 20 reps	Swing 20 reps	Swing 20 reps
Three goblet squats	One TGU each hand	5 5 Sec Pushups
Swing 20 reps	Swing 20 reps	Swing 20 reps
Four Goblet Squats	One TGU each hand	5 5 Sec Pushups
Swing 20 reps	Swing 20 reps	Swing 20 reps
Rest	Rest	Rest

Loaded Carries 1 mile

Horn Walk 30 seconds

3-5 presses

Farmer Carry Left 30 seconds

3-5 presses

Horn Walk 30 seconds

3-5 presses

Farmer Carry Right 30 seconds

3-5 presses (you can switch up to goblet squats, one legged deadlifts, etc.)

Kettlebell Workout #4

Warmup

20 jumping jacks
10 back foam rolls
10 pushups
10 Foam Rolls IT Bands
10 step-ups on a bench
10 Foam Roll Hamstrings
All Fours Wrists Backward Stretch (get on your hands and knees, turn your fingers in to your knees and rock back and forth)
20 Mountain Climbers

Goblet Squat Complex x3

5 Goblet Squats
5 Prone Presses Right
5 Prone Presses Left

Swing Complex

10 Swings Right Hand
10 Swings Left Hand
1 Turkish Getup Right
1 Turkish Getup Left

Burnout

20 Russian Swings Heavy
Row or Run 200 Yards

Kettlebell Workout #3

Warmup

Foam Rolls x 10
1. Backs
2. Outer Thigh
3. Hamstrings
Lacrosse Balls
Hip Flexors Stretch
Updog/Downdog Flow x 5
Bird Dogs
Dirty Dogs
Cossack Squats
10 Pushups

Goblet Complex for 3 rounds

Goblet Squats x 10

Standing Press 3-6 (each arm)

Swing Complex for 5 rounds

20 Swings

6 pushups

30 seconds rest

Carry Complex

Waiter Carry for 1 minute 3 presses

Rack Carry for 1 minutes 3 presses

Farmer Carry for 1 minute 3 presses

The Need for Men to Participate in Martial Combat Sports

One of the biggest mistakes I’ve made in life is to stop participating in martial combat sports after college, and not picking it back up again until my late 30’s. I’ve since participated in Kempo and Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, and am now heavily involved in the latter, training 3-5 days a week and competing in tournaments.

By martial combat, I mean any sport involving physical imposition on a competitor. This would obviously include martial arts (i.e. Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, karate, etc.) but would also include boxing and various forms of wrestling. Hence why I’m using the term martial combat sports and not just martial arts. A man’s life will be lacking without martial combat sports in it.

Martial combat is an essential function of man from the beginning of time. Certainly the Bible, but all ancient works, generally include references to the martial combat feats of men. The men of a society were expected to train in various methods for the defense of their homes. For good reason! The history of the world is basically the imposition of one group’s will upon another. Society has therefore demanded that men train in an effort to be ready for attack, whenever it may come. Your family and community, likewise, depend on your readiness for defense.

You see this in several famous examples. Wrestling and boxing in Greece, various famous martial arts from China (i.e. kung-fu, Shaolin fighting styles, etc. ) and those from Japan (judo, jujitsu, swordsmanship, etc.) are probably the most famous ancient examples. When you look deeper, there existed martial arts in every civilization, and you’ll find diverse examples from African, Indian, Russian, and Native American societies, among others. Some of these martial arts involve weapons, some not. The ultimate purpose was the same. Train young (and older) men in the society to be ready for armed combat should the need for protection of the society arise.

The rise of the state, slowly over time, has issued an odd disconnect. The common man has outsourced his protection to military and police apparatuses at the expense of his own sovereignty. If we are attacked by a foreign threat, we send the Armed Forces. If there’s a robbery, you call the police. We don’t feel the NEED to defend ourselves, as a first response. There’s someone else to do it for us.

This leads to problems. Since we outsource our protection, we lose control over its aims. Hence we see long, drawn-out wars fought in other countries, generating a never-ending cycle of animosity between Americans and foreign people who (absent their respective states) would have no grievances against each other. We see laws enforced, and people imprisoned, for crimes that hurt no one (except themselves). That’s not to mention the lesser frustration of getting speeding tickets for going a speed we know is safe. There’s an ever-growing cycle of dependency that extends beyond physical protection to economic protection (the welfare state), emotional protection (safe spaces), and equity protection (the “woke” movement). Its origin is the lack of self-sufficiency we’ve developed as communities. As it relates to defense, the fault rests solely on the shoulders of men. We can’t even defend ourselves, how can we possibly defend our families, communities, and nation?

This leads to personal issues in personal and business relationships, especially as it relates to other men. Deep down, we know that conflict resolution may ultimately end up in a physical confrontation. The neighbor complaining about your kid’s ball going over the fence, the co-worker who shirks responsibilities off to you, or the panhandler asking for money. These are all seemingly innocuous situations, but deep down every man has a gut reaction that things could go south in a hurry. Self-defense training, for some reason, gives one an extra sense of calm in these everyday situations that the untrained man lacks.

How about the jerk saying something rude to your wife on the street, or the crazy driver who tailgates you for some accidental grievance on the road, or the drunk guy who brazenly cuts ahead of you in line at the convenience store? I think we can agree it’s probably not best for you to automatically escalate these situations to physical violence, but shouldn’t you correct the rude behavior? If you’re not sure you can defend yourself, how can you possibly correct the situation without putting yourself at obvious risk of injury?

Now escalate a little. What about the mugging attempt while you and your wife are out on a date? What about the break-in home invasion? What about the psycho who opens fire in the mall when you’re shopping? Obviously, these situations call for additional armament (which I’ll get to in a second) but the concept is the same. Absent any sort of self-defense training, you’re at the mercy of evil. No cop is coming to save you. You can’t outsource immediate self-defense needs, even if you fool yourself that you can.

The better trained a man is in some form of self-defense, the more self-assured he will be in everyday life. While you may (let’s hope) never be robbed or subject to a home invasion, self-defense will provide you confidence that you can navigate evil in this world in a much better fashion. You’ll also make the community around you a little less susceptible to danger. Suffice to say, if every man took this advice, we’d have no logical need for the state to provide police protection in our communities, for the betterment of our neighborhoods.

Self-defense training has other benefits as well. I notice that I’m more confident and assertive with other people. My negotiating skills have improved. I also notice that my focus at work improves significantly on days where I roll jiu-jitsu beforehand, noticeably more so than when I just run or lift weights. I can go on, but suffice to say there are significant side benefits to martial combat sports beyond self-defense training. I think martial combat sports offer a connection between physical training (i.e. lifting weights, running, etc.) and educational training that somehow enriches both. I find that I learn better and train better because I’m participating in jiu-jitsu.

So, how do you get started? First, you’re going to need to pick a martial combat sport. Far from a conversation about which one is best for self-defense, you should consider a combination of factors including (a) self-defense applicability; (b) tournament availability; and (c) community.

The truth is, with few exceptions, most martial art will work for self-defense. Arguments go back and forth as to whether straight boxing, Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, various karate forms, Krav Maga, or {insert your favorite martial art here} are the best. However, the truth is all the forms listed, plus dozens of others will do. Most self-defense scenarios you run into will involve untrained attackers, and evening the odds can be done with a variety of martial combat methods. More important is whether the form suits your tastes and is something you’ll stick with. Also, note that there are many facilities, like MMA gyms, where you can participate in a variety of art forms to see what you like best. Just remember that it’s probably best to focus on one method eventually. There’s an old saying that I’d rather practice one move 10,000 times than 10,000 moves one time.

You need to pick a martial combat sport that offers competitive tournaments. There’s a couple of reasons that tournaments are so important, no matter your age. First, it offers a purpose and seriousness to your training. My buddy at jiu-jitsu (a white belt in his 40’s like me) just signed up for his first tournament. He described that it sets a deadline for his training, whereby he needs to learn some passes and a submission or two in the 6 weeks remaining until the tournament. Second, it forces you to eat and lift appropriately, since with weight classes there’s a benefit to being strong while lean. Don’t worry if you’re older, because tournaments will usually offer age divisions.

Finally, it’s important to pick a sport with a good community that suits you. You’re not going to continue to go and train if you don’t like the people around you. This means you may need to try a few places until you find the right crowd for you. Your training is a journey, and you want to make sure you’re taking that journey with the right people, otherwise, you’re likely to quit.

I picked Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu, and I think that’s currently the best place to start, and I’ll give you several reasons. First of all, Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu or BJJ is an amazing self-defense tool. It lacks striking, but you can easily make that up by hitting the back and setting up sparring sessions with your buddies. I recommend doing so with boxing gloves and football helmets on your knees for safety. The great thing about BJJ is that because of the lack of striking, you can go 100% in training sessions without significant risk of injury. It’s also extremely popular, with a ton of schools you can choose from. I believe it also is the most popular in terms of tournaments, there seems to be more and more popping up each year, so you’ll be able to test yourself. Finally, the community is really great, and the schools I’ve been to all have a wide variety of men and women of various ages working hard to better themselves. Again, most martial combat sports can work, but if you don’t have a preference, I’d suggest you check out Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu.

I’m going to now transition to thoughts on firearms. First of all, I think it’s the responsibility of all men to be armed and ready to defend your community against threats. I think the mass shooting epidemic in the U.S. is tragic, and I think some of it would be prevented if mass shooters operated under the assumption that people would shoot back if they opened fire in public. So yes, you should be armed, carrying concealed, and ready if called upon.

That being said, I am insistent that men should train a martial combat sport in addition to carrying concealed, and that being armed is (a) no substitute for self-defense training and (b) will be enhanced by self-defense training. Most of us aren’t able to train shooting often enough to become extremely proficient shooters, and spending significant time in military-style stress-simulated training is unrealistic for most men. In addition, most situations are best handled with non-fatal self-defense techniques as opposed to shooting someone. You also will not get most of the benefits of martial combat training listed above just from packing a gun. Finally, the stress management afforded by self-defense training would be very useful should you run into the need to pull your weapon. Make sure you practice shooting and develop accuracy with your weapons, but the reality is that martial combat sport training is needed as well, and is more important to your overall development as a man.

You can’t reach your full potential as a man without martial combat sports training. It’s time to find and join a gym. If you’re a father, it’s crucial to get your sons and daughters involved as well, especially as they enter high school. I would consider football (or rugby) a martial combat sport, but otherwise, kids need to participate in self-defense training. This is important at any age, but particularly so for young men in their 20’s, who have a tendency to get soft after high school or college sports are over. Martial combat sports will help avoid this and are worth keeping up as long as you can. There are guys in their 60’s at my jiu-jitsu school, and I’ve heard of guys rolling into their late 80’s. It will keep you young, strong, and focused. Do it!

Regular Workout

Warmups
1. IT band foam roll
2. Abductor foam roll
3. Lax ball on glutes
4. Bent Knee iron Cross
5. Rollovers into v-sits
6. Rocking Frogs (10-15)
7. Fire Hydrants (10 each leg)
8. Mountain Climbers (10 each leg)
9. Cossack Squats (1o each leg)
10. Seated Piriformis Stretch
11. Rear-foot-elevated Hip Flexor Stretch
Goblet Squat Complex
1. 10 squats
2. 3-6 press right
3. 10 squats
4. 3-6 press left
5 sets Front Press 135s to max
Litvinov’s
1. Front Squat x 8
2. 20 swings w 32KG Kettlebell

The Good News Is It’s All Your Fault

The good news about life is that it’s all your fault. By that, I mean you can assume that everything that’s gone wrong in your life is your fault. This is really the best philosophy you can have regarding personal responsibility, because if everything’s your fault, then by default you have control over every aspect of your life, and can make the changes necessary to improve your circumstances.

Do you have a crappy job or boss? It’s your fault. You haven’t got the skills necessary to add the value necessary to earn more. This is despite the lower prices of the information necessary to get these skills from a library or online. You’re one skill away from a new job or position that will make your life so much better. Quit wasting your time with video games and social media and get more skills.

You’re broke? Your fault. You spend more than you make on stupid trinkets that add no value to your life. You also don’t make enough money, so please see the preceding paragraph for the solution.

Have a terrible marriage? Your fault. You’re most likely overweight, rude, and uninspiring. Why would any woman want to be with you? Get in the gym, clean up your attitude and pursue excellence. Watch your marriage change.

Stop telling yourself you’re fat because of your thyroid. You eat too much and don’t work out. It’s that simple.

Quit deceiving yourself that you aren’t in a relationship because there are no good women out there. You’re an out of shape loser who can’t support a family. Own it and get better.

Don’t blame your lack of a good career on your company not providing training. You don’t have any lucrative skills, so you don’t add value. Get out there and get better.

The vast majority of men have an excuse for everything wrong in their life. There’s always someone to blame, something that prevents their success, and some force holding them back. Don’t let this be you.

Now let’s get an obvious flaw in my argument out there. What about circumstances obviously beyond your control? What about a wife who gets cancer? What about the death of a child? How about a parent who has Alzheimer’s.

There’s been thousands of sermons by excellent pastors on the topic of why God allows tragedies like these. I’ve got nothing to add, and would encourage you to seek some of these out to get the answers you’re looking for. I’m not privy to God’s plans, nor do I deserve to be.

I do want to put a couple of points forward, however. First of all, the Bible makes clear that the reason for all these tragic events is a broken world caused by human sin. You and I contribute heavily to that sin problem, and we both should take responsibility and act more virtuously as a result.

Second, I think a lot of times we pretend that something very well within our control is an Act of God. For instance, how many overweight men seem bewildered by their health problems? How many men ascribe credit card debt to “emergencies” rather than overspending. How many lazy employees who are in the bottom 10% of the workforce attribute layoffs to corporate greed.

I’m not saying that there’s absolutely no situation or circumstance beyond your control. The point is that you need to be very careful in determining what is and is not within your control, and operate under the assumption that it’s all your fault.

You also need to be very mindful of your response in dealing with circumstances beyond your immediate control (whether or not you were at fault). You may have lost control of a circumstance, but that doesn’t mean you don’t have immediate control over what you do next.

Lost your job? Immediately reach out to contacts, send out resumes and pick up a night and weekend gig to temporarily bring in extra cash. Don’t sit on your rear end blaming your old company. That ship has sailed, and it’s time to swim to shore.

You’re sick? Time to adopt a healthy, organic diet and cut any sort of processed food out. Also, time to work out to the best of your ability, even if that’s only a walk around the block.

You’re in debt because you spend more than you make. End of story. Cut spending, work extra jobs at night and on weekends, and pay off your debt.

Be very careful about declaring ANY part of your life beyond your control. Yes, as a Christian I believe God is ultimately in control, but I also know that God operates on a spectrum that transcends time and human understanding. Meanwhile, it’s up to me to use the wisdom he’s given to live up to my potential. I owe that to God, myself, and my family.